Dave Stucky’s No-Jargon Résumé

Last updated 2025-11

This is my résumé, but is also my attempt to inject some honesty into the hiring process. I despise lying, and you can rest assured that this is the most honest undersell possible.

I have experience

While I’m not proud of the range, I’ve been in a little of everything:

  • Manager, Git-n-Go convenience store (2025) = cashier w/ paperwork
  • Scrap Worker, Cash 4 Scrap (2025) = hauler/sorter
  • Insurance Agent, Budget Insurance (2022-2025) = customer service desk jockey/insurance producer
  • Datacenter Installer, Direct Line (2021-2022) = Microsoft data center running cable
  • Datacenter Technician II, ZT Systems (2020-2021) = Microsoft data center running updates

Older

  • Field Service Technician II, Scientific Games (2019-2020) = lottery machine break-fix/repair
  • VSAT Field Service Technician, Scientific Games (2019) = lottery machine break-fix/repair
  • Whirlpool Delivery Specialist, JB Hunt (2018-2019) = delivering/installing appliances + truck-driving
  • Flatbed Truck Driver, Melton (2018) = truck-driving + flatbed labor
  • Truck Driver, Swift (2017-2018) = truck-driving
  • Package Center Supervisor, UPS (2017) = admin work + management + claims investigation + customer service
  • ESOP Retirement Plan Administrator, AmbroseAdvisors (2015-2016) = 401(k) + benefits admin + accounting + customer service
  • Many Odd Jobs (2013-2014) = subcontracting + tax prep + window cleaning + WWOOFing across New York/New Jersey + deli clerk + data work
  • Manufacturing Data Coordinator, Allergan (2013) = quality control + data work
  • Data Entry Consultant, Housing Opportunities Collaborative (2012-2013) = data cleaning + event management + public relations
  • Dish Network/DirecTV Sales Specialist, Satton Marketing (2012) = door-to-door sales
  • Groundskeeper, Cabochon Estate (2009-2012) = trimming, raking, mowing and blowing
  • Contract Worker, University of Redlands (2008-2009) = event setup/teardown
  • Custodian, Immanuel Baptist Church (2007-2008) = custodial
  • Administrative Assistant, Hubbell Lighting (2007-2008) = admin work + forklift operator
  • Data Entry Administrator, a corrupt attorney courier service (2007) = data entry + legal documentation
  • Package Handler, UPS (2006-2007) = manual labor
  • CNA (certified nurse’s aide), Brookside Healthcare Center (2007) = nursing manual labor
  • Customer Service, Yum Corporation (better known as Pizza Hut and KFC) (2005-2006) = fast food

I have long-term technical skills

  • 2025 — forced to live in my car a few times, found ways to improvise scarce electrical environments, including surviving an Iowa winter in an RV
  • 2024 — pushed the limits of my workplace by discovering constraints with the RDP protocol on a dual-boot Linux/Windows machine
  • 2023 — fleshed out the majority of the TrendlessTech essays (~100 of them).
  • 2023 — set both my work and personal computers to dual-boot Windows/Linux offline, and was able to avoid using a Microsoft login in the process
  • 2022 — upgraded my family’s wireless networking system
  • 2021 — reviewed 7,000 articles and guides to fully flesh out TrendlessTech
  • 2021 — made my daily driver Android OS phone completely Google-free
  • 2021 — successfully replaced all my daily driver email and contacts with CalDAV and CardDAV servers
  • 2020 — started TrendlessTech and my toolbox

Older

  • 2019 — built an email signature, with images hosted through this site
  • 2019 — migrated a WordPress.com website to a shared hosting service, then crashed it, then rebuilt the restored backup into 5 of my present websites
  • 2019 — conducted a network audit for Valley Church Des Moines
  • 2017 — converted my family’s tech infrastructure to 100% wireless
  • 2016 — automated RSS feeds to port into a Facebook page to track the end of the world with earthquake updates, epidemic alerts, and news from the Middle East
  • 2015 — explored every single service associated with IFTTT at the time
  • 2015 — setup and managed a Hosted PBX system at AmbroseAdvisors
  • 2014 — reconfigured my laptop to function outside its casing
  • 2014 — migrated media metadata into images for Trinity Church Redlands
  • 2013 — migrated to Ubuntu on my netbook when Windows announced it was ending LTS for XP
  • 2012 — rooted a Galaxy Tab 2 and flashed CyanogenMod, then converted it to a VoIP phone via 3G network as my daily driver
  • 2011 — created a dual-screen workspace/entertainment center with a netbook and CRT television
  • 2006 — aggregated a dataset for the metadata for my 3,500-file music collection
  • 2001 — accessed a secure network folder at my high school with an IE5 exploit, permanently deleted everything accidentally, then turned myself in
  • 1997-1999 — crashed and reinstalled Windows 98 and Windows ME ~15 times
  • 1998 — explored every setting and feature built into Windows 95
  • 1995 — crashed my dad’s MS-DOS/Win3.1 PC as a small child

I’m educated and certified

  • Internet History, Technology, and Security — Coursera, 2022
  • Digital Skills: User Experience — FutureLearn, 2021
  • Introduction to Packet Tracer — Cisco Networking Academy, 2019
  • Advanced Google Analytics + Google Analytics for Power Users — Google, 2019
  • Responsive Web Design — freeCodeCamp, 2019
  • A+ — CompTIA, 2019
  • Defensive Driving — National Safety Council, 2019
  • Smith Certification — JB Hunt, 2018
  • Class A Truck Driver — Pomona Driving School, 2017
  • Diploma in Electrical Studies — ALISON, 2017
  • OSHA Certified Forklift Operator — Hubbell Lighting, 02/2008

Some of my non-technical education:

I’ve accomplished

Random workplace achievements:
  • Budget Insurance (insurance agent)
  • Microsoft (data center installer)
    • Plugged 500 cables/day, 99.5% accuracy
  • Microsoft (data center tech II)
    • 21 deployments/week
  • Scientific Games (field service tech II)
    • 96% utilization rate
    • 93% first-time resolve
  • JB Hunt (Whirlpool delivery)
    • Perfect attendance
    • Perfect safety record
  • Melton (flatbed truck driver)
    • Melton Bronze Knight award
    • Melton’s top 100 drivers — May 2018
    • Perfect safety record
  • Swift (truck driver)
    • Perfect safety record
  • UPS (package center manager)
    • Remotely managed 55-driver fleet
    • 96% claims investigation success rate
  • CareFusion (medical device technician)
    • Tested 137 IV hardware devices/day

Leadership organizations:

Projects:

Books:

Languages:
  • English — fluent enough
  • Spanish — pequeño
  • HTML/CSS — <p style=”color:black;”>more than most non-front-end devs</p>

Awards:
  • President’s Award — CA-PBL, 06/2011
  • Best Speech (various) x3 — Toastmasters, 2015
  • Computer Skills, 4th place — PBL competition, 05/2010
  • MVP Varsity — REVHS, 2003
  • Wrestling, 1st place x3 — multiple wrestling meets, 2002

I’m easy to work with

With the DISC communication model, I tend to use C style by default, but revert to D style if people would rather not hear it or things become urgent. I’ve been described as having a tungsten tongue.

After reading an interview referenced in a rando LinkedIn article, I occasionally update a user manual to show how I work best with others.

Many other things don’t matter regarding my aptitude, barring an unfair bias, but: