# The basics of Cluster B personality disorders

Cluster B [personalities](people-personality.md) represents a large subset of society. The behaviors wildly differ, but come from the same mental basis.

## How they think

The process that builds Cluster B thinking is somewhat straightforward:

1. They have a completely empty sense of self-worth, to the point of feeling deeply unloved and unfulfilled.
   - "I'm worthless."
   - "Nothing I do matters."
   - "Nobody can love me."
   - "I'm only good for what I do."
   - "I'm not good enough."
   - "Everyone hates me."
2. They mix up other people and thoughts in their mind ("objects" in psychology terms):
   - Outside experiences (i.e., other people and what they say or do) are beyond their control.
   - Inside thoughts (i.e., memories of others) should be seen as the fully controllable elements of themselves.
   - They don't distinguish the two:
     - They'll think their thoughts are others' responsibility.
     - They'll expect they can control others' actions and thoughts.
   - This comes from [early childhood](maturity.md), where they never distinguished their "self" from their "mother" like typical childhood development should have created.
3. They have to harmonize the discrepancies that arise, which determines how their mind configures the information from early childhood:
   1. Avoidance: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) creates a barrier between the conflicting values. This creates discomposed [images](people-image.md) of identity and self that can manifest as alter egos.
   2. Engagement: Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) concludes they can earn their attention through outward performance. This makes them excessively seek attention and endlessly crave stimulation.
   3. Acceptance: Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) disregards others' [rights](people-boundaries.md) in the pursuit of their own. They seek stimulation, but the focus is for inward satisfaction instead of the outward focus of HPD.
   4. Dissatisfaction: [Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)](mind-neurodivergence-clusterb-narcissist.md).

Due to this, the severity of their mental illness often comes through how intelligent they are.

One noteworthy and potentially controversial view is that BPD is the same thing as covert NPD.

- While it may be a minor detail, the practical distinction is certainly close enough that clinical psychologists have diagnosed the symptoms similarly.

## Difficulties due to their mental state

Their shattered ego means their mind has trouble with articulately maintaining [memory](mind-memory.md) related to strong adverse feelings towards themselves.

- This wobbly mental state yields legitimate delusions about actual events and circumstances.
- To function in society, they tend to find social roles that are either vastly within their range of talent (so they can be near-immaculate at something) or requires maintaining constant [uncertainty](understanding-certainty.md) (which permits them to conveniently redefine their story as they need).

Since they have a shaky value system, they will often have trouble with a few specific things:

- Self-deprecating [humor](humor.md), though possible with HPD. However, HPD will *not* take a practical joke or teasing well.
  - Their humor will often express as unusually dark, and can sometimes be sadistic.
- Admitting failing or [sin](theology-sins.md):
  - BPD will use it to intensify their "shame" states and will typically vacillate between overreaction and completely ignoring it.
  - HPD will often accept failings on the condition that it's shared with others.
  - ASPD will entirely ignore failings, though will often learn from their mistakes.
  - NPD will learn better [image management](people-image-distortion.md) skills from their mistakes, but won't fundamentally change.
- Blunt truths regarding their failures:
  - They're unable to cope with their failings, so they behave erratically and unreasonably when approached with failings, irrespective of how polite or nonconfrontational the accusation was.

## Conflict style

Cluster B personality uses three major approaches, in approximate order.

First, they will deny absolutely everything.

- The [core of their personality](people-personality.md) is rooted in denial, so it's a survival strategy.
- They're constantly pushing reality out, then swapping it for a delusional fantasy where they are the hero or victim, but never the antagonist of every one of their mind's [stories](stories-why.md).

Next, they will engage in some form of attack.

- This varies heavily on the Cluster B archetype, since each one has their own form of abuse.
- However, one of the more notable distinctions is the fight-fawn response within narcissists:
  1. Fawn - very charming, giving, and codependent
  2. Fight - become aggressive and viciously attack others
- There can be others, such as fawn-flight.
- Irrespective of the approach, their response will be very inappropriate for the context of the situation.

Finally, all of them, when pushed to [an unavoidable conflict](people-conflicts-crucial.md), will engage in a 3-step process (DARVO):

1. Deny: Alleges the harm or abuse never took place. This can go as far as gaslighting.
2. Attack: If they suspect the person doesn't buy their denial, they'll directly assault the person they harmed. This can include harming family or friends or using family or friends against that person ("triangulation").
3. Reverse Victim and Offender: If the attack doesn't sufficiently suppress their victim/opponent, they will still feel unsafe. As a safety mechanism, their mind will rearrange their [memories](mind-memory.md) to indicate that *they* were the victim against the offender.

The reversals come in various forms, but tend to be successful in proportion to several factors:

1. How much that attacker can use social stereotypes (e.g., white female is an entitled person, black male is violent, poor person is stupid, etc.). This perpetuates the [lie](people-lying.md)
2. How little information other people have about the other person. This permits the lie to take hold.
3. How effective the attacker can be at hiding further information. This perpetuates the lie.

## How to approach

In light of this, there are some ways to easily detect Cluster B:

- Watch for clearly premeditated behaviors over circumstances that wouldn't be appropriate.
  - e.g., a delay in reflecting grief when hearing someone else's dog died
- Use self-deprecating humor, then add humor at their expense immediately afterward.
  - They will likely over-react to their "slight"
  - If uncertain, make another self-deprecating joke and see how they respond.
- Call them a narcissist outright.
  - They will go into full-on meltdown, and will try to destroy you and your reputation with everything they have.
  - If they're not, then they'll be confused.