# How to make wise decisions Some decisions are so important that we can't safely trust our [feelings](mind-feelings.md) for them. Further, decision-making can be difficult with [high-conflict people](people-conflicts-bad.md). We also are required to make *many* decisions throughout each day, and most of them are irrelevant. Therefore, this is a set of techniques on how to deduce which decisions are important. ## 1. Get your philosophy in order By having a general idea of how you would respond in the event of most [thought experiments](philosophy-paradoxes.md), you'll be more prepared for difficult decisions later. While real life doesn't give experiences *near* the complexity of thought experiemnts, understanding them gives a framework for how you would want to proceed. ## 2. If the decision has any urgency, ask if you're being pressured to make the decision Many people will try to force a decision on you (e.g., [narcissists](mind-neurodivergence-clusterb-narcissist.md)). Other times, people around you may feel [anxiety](mind-feelings-fear.md) enough that they want to know what your decision is. Further, it may be advantageous to someone else to pressure you into deciding (e.g., [marketing](marketing.md)). Most of the time, though, the decision is *not* urgent. Stay mindful that *not* doing something is also a decision. - Most [stressful](mind-feelings-happiness-stress.md) situations arise through how we feel forced to act. - Many popular [stories](stories-why.md) reinforce this, since writing and performing dramatic experiences is far more difficult when the main character can simply spend time to think about what they'll do next. ## 3a. If it's urgent, make the single most important, small decision possible The best approach in an pressured decision is to postpone the decision. Prepare to make a sacrifice to buy time. - If you have 2 hours to make a $10,000 decision, paying $10 to postpone it 2 months is absolutely worth the investment. However, almost every urgent decision *will* revisit itself later. - If you can, take control of that revisitation by setting a specific [date and time](standards-datetime.md) (e.g., May 20th at 4pm), even if you're not sure. However, if you *must* act, only handle the emergency-based portion of the decision. - You may be able to handle only *part* of the decision, then take your time on the rest. - Manipulative people can also [misdirect their urgency](people-image-distortion.md) to make the problem seem larger than it really is (e.g., [professional victims](https://gainedin.site/victim/) describing their [afflictions](hardship.md)). 10-10-10 rule: - Ask yourself the following questions: 1. How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes? 2. How will I feel about this decision in 10 hours? 3. How will I feel about this decision in 10 months? 4. How will I feel about this decision in 10 years? ## 3b. If it's not urgent, prepare yourself to gather research The purpose of your research is to be fully [certain](understanding-certainty.md) over what you will decide. This decision-making process [can sometimes become complex](mind-decisions-calculus.md). - While researching, it can sometimees be [stressful](mind-feelings-happiness-stress.md), so be prepared to put down your research if you're too overwhelmed. Since the [uncertainty](unknown.md) is its own form of stress, start to research as soon as possible. ## 4. List every possible decision you actually have This will be an exercise in [creativity](mind-creativity-how.md), so go wild with all the decisions. - Again, you're trying to build [certainty](understanding-certainty.md), so consider the most [ridiculous](humor.md), [dangerous](safety.md), or impractical options. ## 5. Eliminate all immoral options Cross off everything on your list that you know is immoral. - If you're accountable to others, have an understanding (written or thought-out) on why that decision is immoral. Your decision absolutely *must* be a [morally good](morality.md) decision. - If you do something immoral, you will have harmed someone else more than you should have, and will have to answer to man and God later for it. - If you believe the ends justify the means, you're also developing a habit that will slowly descend into [evil](morality-evil.md) later. However, do *not* presume that your conscience is precisely accurate. - Many times, a decision is broadly immoral, but with adjacent actions that aren't immoral. - e.g., it is immoral to kill someone, but not in killing someone to save someone else. - e.g., it is immoral to lie, except for lying to save someone's life. - If you're not sure if it's immoral, keep it on the list, but with a clarification. ## 6. Examine future consequences Second-order thinking: 1. Identify the immediate effects of a decision (first-order) 2. For each effect, ask "and then what might happen?" 3. Consider the second-order, third-order, fourth-order, and so on, until you see your likely future situation. Examine the second-order consequences carefully. - Look for unintended side effects to the decision (which may require [imagination](mind-imagination.md)). - Look for feedback loops (where the decision can create [habits](habits.md) and [trends](people-trends.md)). - Stay aware that no amount of analysis guarantees what the future holds. If the situation is particularly complex, draw connection circles for each system: 1. Draw a circle on a piece of paper to represent a system. 2. Identify up to 10 key elements of that system, which will fulfill 3 criteria: A. It can be described with a noun B. It increases or decreases within the system C. It's important for making changes in the system 3. Write those elements around the outside of the circle 4. Draw arrows between elements that cause other elements to rise and fall (mark with a + or -) 5. Keep drawing arrows until you've captured everything that happens in that system 6. Look for feedback loops (arrows that travel in a circle). ## 7. Ask others There is tremendous wisdom in seeking advice. - Even when you're asking advice from a fool, you're gaining a second perspective. As long as you don't blindly follow every piece of advice, the only downside to asking advice is that others will know that you must make a decision. - However, the precise context they give advice comes directly from their experience. The closeness of your connection with that person has an effect on the kind of advice they give you. - Asking close friends or family will almost guarantee they have their own interests. - For example, if you have a friend who likes you, they will not want you to [move away](home-moving.md). - Asking complete strangers usually guarantees an uninvolved experience, as long as you don't give [personally identifiable information](computers-cysec-osint.md). - The safe middle ground is asking casual friends (e.g., in your [workplace](jobs-7_transition.md)) Thus, all together, consider each word of advice with the following context: 1. What do they have to gain by telling you that information? 2. Given their lifestyle and current life circumstances, how would the decision they give you reflect with that? 3. What reasons have they given for why you should make that decision? 4. In a second-order sense, who else would be affected from your decision within their scope of influence? The advice you get will often clarify further [moral](morality.md) aspects you hadn't thought of. - Many things you *thought* were wrong are actually fine in specific contexts. - Other things you expected were fine may actually be very bad decisions. Along with other people, there is wisdom in consulting God. - While it's not fashionable in [secularized society](https://gainedin.site/machines/), all spiritual beings who operate behind our universe have more knowledge than we do about almost everything. - If you're certain about these spiritual beings, you're making an unwise decision by *not* [consulting them](mind-decisions-christian.md)! - The risks from the [unknown](unknown.md) do involve the possibility of them *deceiving* us, but [that's another discussion altogether](spiritual-warfare.md). ## 8. Check the internet The internet usually has articles for nearly every possible circumstance. - Unfortunately, you have zero context for those articles or their wisdom, so you're effectively asking complete strangers. The benefit of the internet is that, barring an [illegal](legal-crimes.md) decision, searching online is low-risk. - Only consider the advice without any context to where it came from, though. ## 9. Make a clear decision Once you've done your research and asked around, you really can't do anything else except decide. If there is still no risk to postponing, make a semi-commitment and wait. - Often, time can reveal things that you can't research any other way. ## 10. Find peace with the decision It's impossible to make a truly [risk](safety.md)-free decision, and you can only do what you're capable of doing. - If you have any further qualms about it, give it to [God](religion.md).