# How to release trauma

We tend to incorrectly redirect past trauma through several possible pathways:

- Be patient with yourself and your thoughts to let yourself work through the pain:
  - Visualize yourself as a small child, as well as everyone else involved.
  - Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you [love](people-love.md).
  - Talk to yourself or a [friend](people-friends.md) about how you feel.
- Crying is one of the most effective ways to release trauma.
  - If you can't cry, yawning also releases stress.
- Focus on [meditative](awareness-meditation.md) deep breathing:
  1. Exhale completely.
  2. Take 4 seconds to inhale.
  3. Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
  4. Take 8 seconds to exhale, then repeat.
- Focus on [repetitive, mindless tasks](success-4_routine.md) to relieve tension:
  - [Cleaning](home-housekeeping.md) and [exercise](body-exercise.md) helps you feel a direct improvement.
  - Playing Tetris or other video games may help break from severe trauma, but only for a few hours at a time.
  - Avoid anything that takes a long time, is unproductive, or can be unhealthy (such as marathon game sessions or overeating).
  - Pain medicine numbs emotional pain along with physical pain, but don't self-medicate unless you're making a critical decision you can't postpone.
- If you can't break through after a few months of self-reflection, seriously consider professional psychotherapy to gain some traction.

Before anything, accept that a traumatic event has happened:

- Avoid making any additional judgments or adding any [meaning](meaning.md) to the trauma.
- Treat yourself like a [scientist](science.md) or forensic researcher trying to examine what has transpired.
- The purpose of this is to ground yourself in reality, but the pain doesn't go away and healing doesn't start until you start releasing it.

Make accommodations for the trauma, but never stop revisiting it:

- Give yourself grace over what you've experienced, but don't let yourself become a victim of your memories.
- Exposure therapy is the act of revisiting and re-experiencing trauma, and is necessary for you to heal from it.

When you are ready, release your feelings about anything you fear or resent:

- The most effective place for [meditation](awareness-meditation.md) comes through how we can better [respond to triggers](habits.md).
  - You really can't do anything about the past, nor about others' actions, and the only person suffering from holding onto those feelings is you.
  - Whenever feelings arise, learn to repeat the mantra, "I'm having an emotional reaction."
  - [Give it all to God](spiritual-exercises-prayer.md) as you encounter the experiences.
  - At the end of any meditation session, you should only be focused on what you can actually do.
- If you have any trouble, [write down](language-writing.md) "I fear...", then list those fears as they arise.
  - At the end, you should throw out or delete the list, which [symbolizes](symbols.md) that the fears don't really matter.
  - If you find anything that makes you angry, write down "I am angry at (a being or institution) because I fear..." and fill it in.
  - Often, you'll find resentments behind resentments, so be sure to list *all* of them.
  - We have the least control over our fears and resentments, so focus specifically on them instead of any other [feelings](mind-feelings.md).
  - At the end, clearly state how you're releasing them all (e.g., "...and that's okay.", "...and it doesn't matter.", "...but [God](god.md) is in control.")
- For your brain stem to register, you may need to connect your feelings to a physical action to release them.
  - Press your tongue to the back of your teeth.
  - Tense every single muscle in your body, increasing in intensity, then release all of the muscles at once.
  - [Go exercise](body-exercise.md).
  - Stamp your feet.
  - Play a high-reflex video game.
  - Take ten deep breaths, focusing particularly on the exhaling.
  - [Eat something](cooking.md) that's high-protein.
  - [Wash your hands with warm water or take a hot shower](people-image.md).
  - Give or request a hug from someone.
- Make releasing a [morning or evening practice](habits.md) to prevent any further buildup of fears or resentments.

As release happens, you will feel a surreal change, almost as if part of you was [dying](hardship-death.md).

- This is because a portion you had [purposed](purpose.md) as being critically important has now been updated to be presently useless, and you're removing those thought patterns.
- It will be disorienting, but isn't permanent.

The final stage of releasing trauma comes through [forgiveness](hardship-forgiveness.md).