# First aid for minor issues ## Allergies Eat a spoonful of apple cider vinegar or a cup of yogurt ## Asthma Eat a spoonful of apple cider vinegar Eat marshmallows Eat onions Slow down your breathing ## Arthritis/joint pain Eat fish or take fish oil Eat marshmallows Eat pineapple Rub aloe vera on your joints ## Brain freeze Press your tongue or thumb against the roof of your mouth ## Burnt tongue Apply honey or sugar to the burn ## Canker sore/mouth ulcer Put a chewable heartburn pill directly on the sore for a few hours Wash your mouth with baking soda mixed with water Wash your mouth with equal parts milk of magnesia and Benylin/Benadryl ## Chapped lips Dip a soft-bristled children's toothbrush into Vaseline and vigorously scrub your lips Mix a teaspoon of Epsom salts with a teaspoon of pure maple syrup and apply to the lips Mix non-petroleum jelly and raw sugar and apply to lips If the lips split, hold a damp black tea bag to the area Note: Avoid most over-the-counter chapstick because they contain desiccants. ## Congestion/stuffy nose Mix honey, coconut oil, and flour together, then rub it onto the chest and let it sit, and use plastic wrap or tape to hold it still if necessary. Eat chicken noodle soup Eat garlic Hold your breath, bob your head up and down repeatedly, then resume breathing Have sex Mix a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar into water and drink Push your tongue against the roof of your mouth and press your finger between your eyebrows for twenty seconds ## Constipation Drink senna leaf tea or dried aloe vera juice For painful gas, lay on your back and lift your left knee to your chest to fart it out ## Coughing/cold Drink thyme tea Eat a tablespoon of honey Eat a teaspoon of raw honey mixed with a quarter teaspoon of cinnamon Eat oregano Eat red peppers Exercise vigorously Gargle or drink pineapple juice Lay on your stomach Raise your hands above your head Mix two lemons, half a cucumber, and ten to twelve mint leaves in three quarts of water, brew it overnight, then drink it throughout the day ## Cramps Drink children's pediatric electrolyte solution Drink pickle juice ## Diarrhea Drink apple cider vinegar Drink fiber mix: - A glass of water - Fiber powder - Corn husks - Oats - Psyllium husks Eat apples ## Heartburn (acid reflux) Kneel with your head bowed lower than your stomach, which strengthens your lower esophageal sphincter ## Hiccups Drink something while someone else pulls on your earlobes Hold your breath and swallow three times Inhale through your mouth, swallow your saliva twice, and slowly exhale through your nose Masturbate Try to force yourself to hiccup ## Need to pee Scratch on the back of the calf Think about sex If you can't pee, multiply random numbers in your head ## Need to sneeze Rub or press your tongue on the roof of your mouth Tickle the inside of your nose with a feather or cotton removed from a cotton swab ## Overheating Hang a damp towel over an open window Place an ice pack on the wrist Run your wrist under cold water for at least 5 minutes Wet paper towels, fold into ankle and wrist cuffs, and wear ## Parasites, worms, and lice To suffocate lice, apply mayonnaise or any other high-oil product To remove worms and other parasites, eat honey with vinegar ## Period cramps Blend a smoothie of a cup of fat-free milk, a tablespoon of chocolate syrup, half a banana, half a cup of strawberries, a kiwi peel, and ice Apply a heating pad to the affected area Fart to relieve pressure Masturbate with a tampon to barely touch it, then pee afterward and change the tampon to avoid a bladder infection Run hot water onto a cloth or paper towel and wring it out until damp, then place it over the cramp Use a pad instead of a tampon or menstrual cup ## Shivering Stick out your tongue ## Small cuts, paper cuts, and razor cuts Apply superglue to the cut Lick them to accelerate the healing process Rub lip balm onto the cut ## Something in your eye Fill a bowl with water high enough for your face and open your eyes in it Grab your eyelashes and pull your eyelid down with your fingers, then blink several times rapidly Pull back the bottom eyelid and wipe the inside of the eyelid with a clean finger If eye drops hurt, run the bottle under hot water for a few seconds first ## Spicy foods Eat dairy products (yogurt is more effective than milk) Eat a teaspoon of sugar ## Sores on tongue Eat aloe vera Dilute 3% hydrogen peroxide with water and dab on the sore Gargle salt water Apply honey directly or drink warm tea with honey Apply coconut oil to the sore Drink chamomile tea Drink cold water or keep ice in your mouth Take a vitamin B complex supplement Use a mouthwash of baking soda mixed with water ## Splinter Apply a paste of baking soda mixed with water, then wait a few minutes for it to pop out Pour a small amount of white glue over the area, let it dry completely, then peel it off with the splinter Bottle technique: 1. Fill a wide-mouthed bottle with hot water nearly to the brim 2. Press your hand tightly onto the bottle 3. Wait for the suction to pull on the flesh and the steam to draw out the splinter ## Tinnitus Your ears have basically "locked in" on the sound, even after the sound is gone. Watch [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8indTo2ykPw) to clear the noise. ## Toothache Dip a cotton swab in mouthwash and bite down on it Eat marshmallows Rub ice on the back of the hand Rub ice on the webbing on the back of the hand between the thumb and index finger