# How to debate

Debating is a high-intelligence [conflict style](people-conflicts.md) that focuses on using [logic](logic.md) to break apart opposing viewpoints.

If people were logical and rational beings, debates would have more of a place in society.

- Formal debates are more like a [sport](fun-sports.md) of wits and [convincing speech](education-how.md) than any proper attempt to [influence others](power-influence-how.md).

Unfortunately, debating isn't healthy for [the good life](people-goodlife.md) if done too often, since most debates to typical people will either be [legal defenses](legal-safety.md) or [religious battles](spiritual-exercises-evangelism-apologetics.md).

However, it's worth being aware of the structure for the purpose of organizing our own thoughts.

## Stay unbiased

Never state your opinion as a fact.

- We're all entitled to our opinions, but asserting them as if they were true destroys credibility.

What you *can* do is to state what your opinion is, and then indicate at least a few reasons why you have that opinion.

- Many times, our known facts can assemble together to validate an opinion.
- By articulating those facts, other people can find ways to wrestle with those facts in their own time, and may even come later to the opinion you hold.

## Directly respond to the question

By asking questions to someone else's question, you're effectively evading a simple answer.

Responding to a question with a question is only applicable if you're aiming for specificity.

- Many people ask broad questions that require more details, and you *can* state a better question to pursue.
  - e.g., "Are all people bad?" can be answered with "Well, how do we define 'bad'?" and then proceed to answer it.
- However, be very careful with this approach, since questions are frequently used to [manipulate image](people-image-distortion.md) and [some people have been abused by narcissists who employed it](hardship-abuse-narcissist.md).

Stay focused on the specific scope of the question.

- Many times, people who ask debate questions have a very specific flow of thought that they want to be resolved.

A question is actually a series of simple statements that combine together, with a simple question at the end:

- e.g., "Why didn't I see you at the concert yesterday?"
  1. "I was at the concert."
  2. "I didn't see you at the concert."
  3. "I expected to see you at the concert."
  4. "Why is that?" under the implication that the responder must describe their actions.
- e.g., "Why did your staff not respond to the incident in a timely manner?"
  1. "You are responsible for your staff."
  2. "You didn't respond to the incident fast enough."
  3. "Why did that response not happen fast enough?"
- Frequently, you can also detect [bias](mind-bias.md) in the structure of the question.

## Don't ever make it personal

The realm of ideas and information rarely has to do with our personal lives.

- Even in a court case, we are directly addressing events that happened in the past that we may not have as part of our lives anymore.
- By taking it personally, we throw out our credibility and also demonstrate [emotional immaturity](mind-feelings-beliefs.md).

## Accept when you're wrong

Sometimes, you won't have a good answer to something.

- This is perfectly fine, and your opponent may give that information.
- It takes tremendous humility, but is also critical, to accept when we were wrong or had missing information.